How to tell if it was a gunshot or fireworks: gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do.
thaNK YOU SO MUCH
the fact that anyone might commonly need to know this terrifies me
all Americans need to know this
so today at work I cleaned this old man’s golf clubs and I thought he was getting his wallet out of his bag but instead he pulls out this giant plastic target bag of yellow plums. he tipped us in yellow plums. he told us not to tell anyone we had these and I looked them up because they were so good and these plums are illegal in the US. I got tipped in illegally imported plums.
That. Is. Amazing.
when youre walking past a dead body in a horror game and it suddenly comes back to life
Oh my god you can almost hear the pug’s screams.
Favorite story posts part 1
"white people can’t danc-"
"white people can’t twer-"
Rebloging for the last 2 panels
Reblogging this for the last two panels
I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, OHMYGOD
situpsandfruitcups basically your snapchat just now